Methodology of Escapology

One day, Callum decided that if he was going to play a cop, a law enforcement professional, in Paul's mountie-thing; he was going to have to learn how to do it, so he really looked like a violent divorced burnt-out case cop, who could do cop stuff blindfolded... or, you now, while kicking them in the head.

He was too fucking method for his own good.

See, cops could just swing those cuffs out, and ker-klunk you're nicked, as his mum would say.

So he got his out and...

...well, now he was cuffed, firmly, securely, professionally, to the chain-link fence behind Paul's fucking trailer...

...and suddenly there was nobody on set to help him...

...he was going to do some head kicking of his own later.

Yeah, untie me, o special effects guy, who has the damn handcuff keys so I don't lose them or nothing, and then I shall kick you in the head.

Lacks something, doesn't it?

Like he said, he was too method for his own good. Next time, he was so getting a role where he could smoke on screen, or everybody on set would die slow painful deaths. Heh, slow painful deaths, like, from damn cancer sticks. Who thought giving up would be so hard?

And then there's Paul, who's totally wax on/wax off with the nicotine addiction and it makes Callum want to do things involving his boot and the Paul-Fraser gestalt's head.

He's channeling too much. That and he's attached to what must be the most secure chain-link fence in all existence, and there's no smokes in his pocket, and that's before he gets on at how bloody fucking hot it is here.

Callum really hopes somebody will come soon, before he looses his zen thing entirely, and Kowalski's too like the guy he used to see in the mirror sometimes, only sober enough to get work to get less sober, angry angry young man, and not in the good James Dean way.

Assuming there was a good James Dean way. Callum kind of doubts that being at one with your automobile like that is a good thing.

He so needs to quit smoking, or accidentally-chaining-himself to things, or get a part in a movie about suffragettes...

But what he really needs to do is find the eye of the storm, before, whammo, he ain't in Kansas no more.

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